i was drawn back to this page, idk why but i felt quite melancholy today. so im reading through what everyones saying and i start to cry bc it genuinley hurts. I thought after almost two years the pain would lessen but it hasnt and idk what to do. is it good to feel this way? is this just part of grief? its comforting to see that other people feel as much pain as i do. maybe theres no such thing as getting over it, or maybe everyone is different. I feel saddest when i think of the period of time surrounding ur passing - god it was absolutely heartbreaking. just thinking of the pain i was in makes me cry. i always told myself i should leave u behind if i truly want to get better but i dont think i can. Im gonna tell F about this - btw, its going really well, im v happy. If u saw us in public you'd totally hate us :) hope ur resting well rue