Hi, its me, D again. College is going interestingly. I'm enjoying it, but im also really behind, and im so stressed over it. Im sticking with it though, and trying my hardest to catch upo because you always told me to live for myself, and ive been trying to do that more and more recently. Ive left everyone behind, and im in Worthing/Brighton now. i remember talking to you about moving here, and how its a place i love and feel safe in. it was the last thing we talked about. i cant tell you enough hoe much that conversation means to me. i read it so often, and keep updating our playlists with songs, but its been so long since you were there to listen to it with me that ive lost the love i have for it. Ive been thinking about you a lot recently. Im not sure why. I miss you and feel so guilty for it because its been so long that it feels hard to remember you. Im so glad ive still got some of your things, and the memories you gave me, because i don't know how id calm myself on the days like this without you here. I miss your smile more than anything. I've still never met someone who manages to shine so brightly, and I've met so many new people recently. I love you. I remember when you used to try and hug me and you had to stand on your toes and still struggled to be tall enough. You barely used to reach my shoulder, and I loved wrapping my arms around you, holding you and hoping you'd feel safe. That was about 3 and a half years ago now. I still remember exactly how it feels. I don't even know if you particularly liked me, towards the end, but we started talking again right before and nothing ever made me as happy. I've never felt as safe as with you. I remember staying up until 4:20 in the morning and being so quiet because u were terrified that your parents would hear us laughing and being loud. I remember when you came around mine and fell in love with a pair of cherry earrings. I keep them so safe now. I wish I had pictures of us, or you, or even of some of the stupid art we did together, or the places we went. I just want to see your smile again. You were the most lovely person I've ever met. I didn't realise I could miss someone this much. I love you so much