hey rue, its been awhile since i last wrote anything on here and im sorry. lately ive been looking back on my life since you passed and ive come to this realisation that ever since you left ive been constantly trying to change everything about myself; be someone else in a way. this was when i realised that its more like ive been running away from you, erase you from my memory, act like this never happened because everytime i stop for a moment all i can think is would things have been different if we never got close again? or all the things i should have done that i didnt. so id like to apologise, because you deserve so much better than that, being erased. realistically i honestly think you saved my life in a way which is what makes it worse- that i am still here and you are not, you made me the happiest i can ever remember being and i realise now that it wouldnt be right to just forget it all. anyway, we are now nearing the 2 year mark for your passing yet in my mind i still remember it like it was yesterday, though now i think i am finally accepting that your not here anymore in my mind. but wherever you are i hope you are well and i love you so much