i don’t think i’m ever going to be able to fully process that i’m never going to be able to see you again. We hadn’t spoken in quite some time and i regret that hugely now. When i found out about what had happened to you, i was in a particularly dark place myself and when i saw how much your passing effected people, it made me want to try and stay a little longer and i’m so glad i did. no one knows it but you played a big part in why i’m still here today, so thank you love. i wish i could talk to you but i know i need to except that’s not possible. you were one of the few good memories i have of Millais and always will be. i love you and i hope you’re doing okay :)x